April 11th, 2012 6:37PM
I seem to recognize your face
haunting, familiar, yet i can’t seem to place it
cannot find the candle of thought to light your name
lifetimes are catching up with me
all these changes taking place, i wish i’d seen the place
but no one’s ever taken me
hearts and thoughts they fade, fade away…
hearts and thoughts they fade, fade away…
i swear i recognize your breath
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising
me, you wouldn’t recall, for i’m not my former
it’s hard when, you’re stuck upon the shelf
i changed by not changing at all, small town predicts my fate
perhaps that’s what no one wants to see
i just want to scream…hello…
my god its been so long, never dreamed you’d return
but now here you are, and here i am
hearts and thoughts they fade…away…
hearts and thoughts they fade…away…
hearts and thoughts they fade, fade away…
hearts and thoughts they fade…
I wish I was the souvenir you kept your house key on
I wish I was the pedal brake that you depended on
I wish I was the verb ‘to trust’ and never let you down
I wish I was a radio song, the one that you turned up
I wish…
I wish…
The very least you can do in your life is figure out what you hope for. And the most you can do is live inside that hope. Not admire it from a distance but live right in it, under its roof.
April 5th, 2012 1:38AM
The waiting drove me mad…you’re finally here and I’m a mess
I take your riches back…can’t let you roam inside my head
I don’t want to take what you can give…
I would rather starve than eat your bread…
I would rather run but I can’t walk…
Guess I’ll lie alone just like before…
I don’t want to limp for them to walk…
Never would have known of me before…
I don’t want to be held in your debt…
I’ll pay it off in blood, let I be wed…
I’m already cut up and half dead…
I’ll end up alone like I began…
It’s your move now…
I thought you were a friend, but I guess I,
I guess I hate you…
HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY EVERYONE!!
Today, I baked a Coffee Crumb and Chocolate Devil Layer Cake with a pink vanilla frosting for my boyfriend. I was hoping to surprise him but he came home, from work, earlier then I expected. I tried to hide the obvious by putting the cakes in the freezer and turning off the oven but the smell of fresh baked cake was in the air and he knew I was lying when I told him I hadn’t been baking. It was actually the cutest thing because he had this devilish twinkle in his eye while he went about the kitchen searching for the cake. (He acts like he’s 5 sometimes.) <3
We decided to dedicate our Friday night to fully celebrate the holiday- but it was nice spending the evening together while RJ cooked dinner and I finished up dessert.
How does 4 years pass at the drop of a hat? I can’t believe it has been 4 years since I graduated HS. This is from 2008- back when I used to model. This was just a fun shot taken at the end of the night. I wanted to show my perspective on Valentine’s Day. I never quite understood why people only glamorized love on ONE day of the year. I think it’s more romantic getting flowers, gifts or chocolates on any other day when it’s not being advertised.
Not Quite Contagious.
“Just like that. From a hundred miles an hour to asleep in a nanosecond. I wanted so badly to lie down next to her on the couch, to wrap my arms around her and sleep. Not fuck, like in those movies. Not even have sex. Just sleep together, in the most innocent sense of the phrase. But I lacked the courage. . and she had a boyfriend and I was gawky and she was gorgeous and I was hopelessly boring and she was endlessly fascinating. So I walked back to my room and collapsed on the bottom bunk, thinking that if people were rain- I was drizzle and she was a hurricane.”
